fruedwasright

fuck you and all of your bullshit about opportunities.
If this really was the “golden land of opportunities”
I wouldn’t have to pay 46,000 fucking dollars to go to Art School
Not only would I have to pay that much,
You’d actually give me money based on the EFC.
Not say
“Yes, it does say you can only afford to pay 2,700$
but unfortunately, we don’t really give a shit and won’t help you pay.”

I swear to god, the next person who tells me how great America is
Is getting a fucking broken nose.

1. Pretend you’ve never met, then loudly try out lame pickup lines in a swanky bar. Act like they worked.
2. Go on a walking journey and every fifteen feet draw a chalk arrow in the direction you’re going. At the end of the trip, leave a big pile of chalk.
3. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen
4. Go for a drive. You can only make right-hand turns. When you finally get stuck, turn around and then you can only make left-hand turns. Repeat until you find something interesting. Take pictures along the way!
5. Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.
6. Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books
7. Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck.
8. Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.
9. Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!
10. Hide and seek in the park
11. Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things
12. Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.
13. Go for a drive with the passenger blindfolded, choosing directions at random. see where you end up
14. Dress up as pirates, commandeer shopping carts, and have a war upon the high seas.. er, parking lot.
15. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence
16. Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.
17. Dress up as pirates and go parrot shopping at local pet stores
18. Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.
19. Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras
20. In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.
21. Dress up as superheros and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….”
22. Go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of Cracker Jack.
23. With camera and pair of boots, make photolog of a day in the life of the invisible man.
24. Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn
25. Go to a restaurant and convince the cook to create something completely new for you.

do I have to be honsest with you now?
we climbed into the room as best we could,
selling sweets and playing pretend
sleeping on the floor, we were content.
wandering through the night
led to so many places,
out side the dark cloaked everything
but that white horse, screaming in terror.
I grasped your arm
and told you I loved the sound of your voice
the thriving emotions
and secrets you could almost taste
you held on just as tight
whispering secrets into my ear that only I could know.
we held hands and you sang to me
we rolled out our sleeping bags, but it was more than just us
( my thoughts kept returing to you, across the way
the promises we had made mean just as much to me now as they did then)
your sister sang me through my future through high and low
hell and cold
passing through doors
and leading into a cathedral.
it was only us, it was only you.
you screamed at me,
beat my feet bloody with a thorny rose.
black as the night he found me in.



the rain washed everything away.

and to you my dear father
close your teeth against the air.
counting down the days untill i leave
untill i can taste the bitter wonder of freedom
of letting everything go.

run run run,
(let me at them, let me at them)
dive deeper down into this
unknown
into what we want to know
holding hands and going back to days
when making love was making out
and doris day sang into the night
billy holiday crooned bruised love songs
and we slept on a balcony
summer sun setting, and birds singing our quieting lullaby.
my toes were numb,
just like your lips
with the antidote under your tongue
i'll kiss you untill the worlds tears us apart.

creaking bones
and ink black fingers
you'll hide from the truth
but I'll find you in your dreams.
as that ancient phone rings
rattling the dust off the walls
I know you're gone.

gone
gone
gone
gone






gone.

have a gun.



I think, we should spend more time celebrating
what our idea of new years is
on our birthdays
for that
is really your new year.

as we play tick tack toe
and patty cake
we can shoot to the stars
and never ever come back.

their hearts hurt.
when I feel hurt and pain and heartbreak

my arms and hands are in pain.


my soul lies not in my heart or chest or stomach
but in what I create with
what makes me whole.

to be spell​ed with an x
with fake snow
and plast​ic trees​
and shiny​ synth​etic mistl​etoe.​
let'​s hold hands​
by the fire place​
with real logs and flame​
drink​ home made hot choco​late
with milk and coco powde​r
not water​ and swiss​ mix
eatin​g popco​rn
poppe​d over the stove​
with kerne​ls from that glass​ jar above​ the sink
and not in the micro​wave.​
we can build​ a snow man
and welco​me the numbi​ng cold.​

ebb and flow
and leave me drained
I'll listen to his scratchy voice
singing lullabies into the void
float off on those wings
and I'll fall down down down
into that fated hole.
croon a barcarole
and I'll open up my soul
showing and telling
showing and selling
the stains will never leave my skin
and the wounds will never leave your heart
sound the timpani
and we'll take our bow
bending out like a willow
and fade into the curtain.

i'll know it worked
and inhaling my last breath
I'll let it all slide into you

try.
all of everyone was
there
moving hiding entangling
bringing out bags of things we would need
but leaving them behind
bedrooms that once belonged to her
you now played through
dancing with ones I never knew
after this, I knew i was never coming home
I smiled at him and called him sir
and automatic response
my german was a little off
white tiled halls were our
doomsday maze
running through the building
and hiding with the students who were to die
our bodies clashed together
falling together
falling apart
we can fly
and it was the last thing to see
tree branches led for support and they
never knew any better
all the ghost will forever
never
haunt me
hide, hide, hide
we ran untill our lungs burst and they
caught us
we died tragically.

Durme, durme hijiko de Madre
Durme, durme s'in ansio y dolor
Sienti joya palavrikas de tu Madre
Las palavras di Shema Yisrael
Durme, durme hijiko de Madre
con hermozura de Shema Yisrael

we're sharing our oragans with other people
with every breath
we exhale atoms from our heart and kidnys
and intake that from others all around us
living and dead
in less than 1 year 98% of your body no longer belongs to you, but to everyone
even your DNA is ever changing
Based on mathematical computation of radio active isotopes
it can be shown without a shadow of doubt
that right now,
in your physicalll body
you have a million atoms that were once in the body of
Buddy Holley, Billy Holiday, Leonardo da vinchi or michleangelo.
all those great names
that we so love.


Deepak Chopra






we are empty space

nervous
nervous
nervous
nervous
nervous
nervous
nervous
nervous
nervous








upside down and incomplete.

I really want a tattoo. many in fact. along with several piercing. the agreement made when I was a small child was that my parents would help pay for school (contribute 6 grand for school) as long as I did not get any tattoos or pericings. I have used up 2 years, and have 12 grand left. I have no clue what I should do. I could do what I want, because honestly the money doesn't really matter that much to me, I want to pay my own way. But if I run into trouble in the netherlands, I won't have anything to fall on.



help.

start posting some art here.
and then get my own website up and running.
it's time to start reading some books
and making those calls.

dunk my head benea​th the water​
for a name we'​ve long since​ forgo​t
inste​ad I'll dream​ of the end of the world​
and tonig​ht,​ I'll take all of the blame​
you'​ll fall aslee​p
so sickl​y ill
as the light​ shine​s throu​gh
and even eyeli​ds can'​t stop it
broke​n sleep​
and ghost​ dream​ whisp​ers
I'll liste​n to ever beat
withi​n the chamb​ers of your heart​.​